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Sunday, August 11, 2013

Operation Search for Our New Home: Day 3 (Fort Greene, Clinton Hill,and Prospect Heights and Prospect Lefferts Gardens)

I didn't blog last night because I don't write if I can't write truth and yesterday the truth hurt too much to write. Basically, Peyton and I had a fuss (not even a fight really) and I went to bed so hurt and lonely. I'll get to that, though. I've got to talk about our great day first.

But before that, I kind of owe Peyton an apology/everyone else an explantaion. In my last post, I talked about how Peyton said Mississippi didn't have any culture. However, he corrected me and said that he was the one who actually talked about the great writers from Mississippi and he was going to bring that up but I interupted him. Pretty much, he was just saying we didn't have much "high art", but we have TONS of great culture (which I agree with and I kind of want to write a whole post about).

Onto our day now...

We had a great day yesterday (Saturday). We didn't get a super early start or anything, so it was midmorning by the time we got going. We took the subway over to Brooklyn and started out in Fort Greene.

 Every time we get on the subway I have these awful daymares about Graves letting go off my hand and jumping off the platform and getting hit by a train. It's irrational (like most all my anxiety triggers), but it feels paralyzing. 




We went to the farmer's market, the Brooklyn Flea, and checked out the streets. 


It was clearly a hit!
Peyton: 8/10 for beautiful architecture, open sky, and weekly markets
SD: 9/10 for gorgeous housing, tree lined streets, and young families. It seemed pretty hipster but we loved it

We had lunch and then headed to Clinton Hill.

 In Clinton Hill, we talked to a few residents, met a realtor for an open house, and then stumbled upon a block party. We talked to two families at the party and both LOVED the neighborhood.

Clinton Hill seemed to have a really great vibe and we were loving Brooklyn.
Peyton: 8/10 for lots of friendliness, diversity and safety. 
SD: 9/10 for a "neighborhood" feel, friendliness, huge smiles and lots of little ones. 

After that we took a bus over to Prospect Heights and walked the streets, talked to a couple of people, and went to the Park.

I can't wait to take Annie here and blow her tiny mind.

Another Brooklyn neighborhood to add to the list!
Peyton: 7/10 for library and park access. 
SD: 7/10 for the same reasons and nice, well kept housing.

Our last neighborhood was Prospect Lefferts Gardens.
I think this is out, pretty much.
Peyton: no score because we didn't have time to revisit and our visit was super short 
SD: 3/10 because I've heard some good things and prices were reasonable but overall I didn't like how urban it felt and the streets we saw didn't seem very family friendly. Proximity to the Botanical Garden is pretty cool, though!

We came home and took naps- it was about six and by the time I woke up and talked to Minnie it was nine. We showered and went out for the night. 

Peyton really wanted to go dancing. There was this cute little bar in Jackson we used to go to and dance and he (we!) miss it. Anyway, the first bar/club was sort of fun. They played a mix of current music and nineties stuff like "Get Low". It was mostly all goofy white people and it was HYSTERICAL. One guy in light khaki cargo shorts and tennis shoes was particularly hilare. I told Peyton I was sure they about to start the "Tootsie Roll".  We had fun and even danced a bit, but couldn't get into it, so we decided to check out another club with eighties music that Peyton was really excited about.

On the way there we ran into this sweet girl. She actually stopped us to say how cute I was (what??) SHE was so cute and bubbly and we ended up talking for several blocks until we got where we were going.

Y'all it was SO loud and SO bright and- this was hardest for me- there were several tranvestites there. I smiled and acted like I was having fun, but it was total culture shock. We danced some and when we left I just broke down and cried. It just made me sad and I was completely overwhelmed. I even told Peyton the next morning that it sort of upset me that one smiled at me. I almost wanted to not like him. I know that is TERRIBLY wrong and this is stretching me in a huge way.

Poor Peyton was so disappointed. I don't really blame him, but I was sad because I tried so hard. I know he just wanted to figure out something where we could have fun and be romantic like the early days. But I just felt awful because I was trying desperately to open my heart to this place and I felt like I was being met with a total lack of support.

We went to bed without talking and I was in tears. I wanted my babies so bad. It's a terrible coping mechanism, but last time we fought I got Graves out of bed and snuggled with him. I think it was good for me to not have that, but it was so hard. I needed to be affirmed and I got increasingly angry with Peyton. I started thinking about the kids I honestly thought (I know this is horrible and NOT really how I feel) "How can they be so amazing and wonderful and be half of him??"

We had a GREAT day today and resolved everything! 

3 comments:

  1. What do you think it was that bothered you so much about the transvestites? They don't bother me but I DO find it hard not to stare! :)

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  2. ML, I have no idea. Peyton and I discussed it a bit and I'm still not sure. Peyton was like "There's a transexual who works at Kroger, Sweetie". [Um, well that's sort of a different thing, no?] Even looking back a couple of days later it seemed so stupid that I got so worked up over it. I think it was the whole experience. Because it's not like I've never seen one before. I've never had such a strong reaction, though. [Although, I will say that what I've seen is more "drag queen" type stuff; there was this one guy who legit looked like Marlyn Manson. Maybe he was what pushed me over the edge. He was the one who smiled, btw.] I really didn't struggle (too much) with the whole gay "scene" in Chelsea. Well, the couples and bars didn't bother me; a few storefronts did a tiny bit. I will say that I'm the same way with some of the over the top sexuality in NOLA. Not LGBT stuff, but all the strip bars that are in your face. So I don't think it's about an aversion to an orientation, although I do have some beliefs/convictions on the topic. I think it was partly that we went from this bar where there were tons of people our age and younger dancing to dumb ninties music and making fools of themselves to this place with big strobe lights and sort of a Rave-ish feeling. I wouldn't say I felt unsafe at all, but I felt so totally uncomfortable. Thinking of it in the light of day, I'm like "Why didn't I just act goofy and enjoy that?" but at the time I was think "this is all so damn weird and I freakin' hate this city". Which could have been a combination of hormones (yeah we picked the *perfect* week to go, ugh)/missing my babies/ect. I can't really explain it.

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  3. Yeah, it sounds like that combination of things probably did it. When you describe what the bar was like, that makes more sense. Totally not my scene either and I probably would have felt uncomfortable too.

    When we took C to Mary Poppins in ATL in the spring, there was a transvestite at the next table (who was very flamboyant and just obvious) when we were eating lunch, and I was PRAYING C didn't start acting questions or stare. Not that she would have known what was going on, but he/she was not subtle.

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